May 10, 2003
Note: this is a post recovered from my old blog, before it died of an insufficient backup. Any comments/trackbacks on it have not been brought over, but can be seen with the original. The date is that of the original posting.
Mrs. Du Toit explains women. I thought I'd return the favor.
Men are heirarchichal.
We are object oriented.
We define our schema in a file, whose syntax is very simple, but which requires several reboots and much swearing before it will really take full effect - little bits of old schema definitions end up cached somewhere in memory, and only come out when the right branch of a particular algorithm are triggered.
We are algorithmically driven, and don't deal well with dynamic reconfigurations.
We block on reads.
We cache writes and don't necessarily flush cache until a reboot.
Any time that the tables change, we need an expensive and time-consuming reindexing. If the tables are modified during the reindexing, we have to start over. During the reindexing, we are likely to return stale results, unless the system is down.
Deletes don't necessarily replicate. In such a case, you have to reissue the command.
We theoretically support transactions, but we are not very good about checking the handshake to ensure that everything is in sync before we acknowledge a connection. This sometimes leads to partially-committed transactions which are difficult to back out.
Our logs are an unreadable mess scattered all over the place.
Stack tracing is a futile gesture, returning pointers to long-freed routines (whose interfaces were muddled to begin with).
We take crashes with a grain of salt, as long as the system restarts normally, but we are deeply annoyed with recurring bugs.
In effect, we are Active Directory.
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