Do What Ernie Says

Peter David sees hidden motives in Sesame Street's Ernie.

So Caroline is watching "Play With Me Sesame" at 8 AM on Noggin as she usually does. And it starts off with the following: Ernie looking into camera and saying, "We're going to go swimming today...but you're not going to need a bathing suit!"

Which made me go, "Hmmmm. Ernie's into child porn."

And then Ernie said, "In fact, you're not even going to need water!"

Which made me go, "Hmmmm. Ernie's into heavy drug use."

At which point he said, "All you have to do is what Ernie says!"

Which made me go, "Hmmmm. Ernie's a control freak."

And then I had a mental picture of toddlers trudging forward, glassy-eyed, arms oustretched, intoning, "We must do what Ernie says..."