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October 12, 2007
Why I Hate Talking to People
I forget, sometimes, how insular my internet world is. Sometimes I stray into a more mainstream area of the net, where I'm quickly brought up short by the fascinating attitudes I find.
I involved myself in a discussion on breastfeeding on an email list. I consider myself somewhat of a breastfeeding activist; however I've also had the experience of having a child who could not, would not nurse, despite professional help and lots and lots of trying. And tears. Thank goodness for formula, in his case.
But we did honestly try everything before we gave him formula, and it was this story I was relating on the list. In fact, since I was unable to pump enough to feed my baby, a dear friend actually pumped her own milk for us. Yes, I fed my baby someone else's breast milk.
I expected some folks to be ooked out by this, because we've all forgotten about wet nurses and history. But I wasn't prepared for the response I got, which was outright disgust. One woman was particularly disgusted by the whole idea, and, of course, thought I just should have given the baby cow's milk and had done with it. (I never do get this argument. Why is human milk, which is for humans, disgusting, while milk squirted out of a cow's udder is acceptable? When you think about it, isn't that just weird?)
But she didn't stop there. No, she went on with this bit of logic: If I would let my baby drink some other human's breast milk, then logically speaking, why wouldn't I also let him drink urine?
Um. WHAT?!
Obviously I was not going to get anywhere with her on the subject of breast milk. Fine, drop it, done. But I could not resist the urge to try to point out to her that her logic is just bad. Er, no, you logically cannot equate breast milk with urine. One is nourishing and meant for human consumption. The other is just not. So, uh, no, I would not feed my baby urine, and by the way, what kind of frakked up person are you? (Okay, I only added that part in my head.)
Y'all know what kind of response I got, don't you? A rant about how I'm entitled to my OPINION about her LOGIC. Now she is offended because I did not let her have her OPINION.
I'm sorry, but we're done. When you don't even have the faintest clue that a logical argument is not governed by your opinion, we have nowhere to go, and I cannot help you. The biggest problem that I can see is that the world is full of you, you folks that cannot tell opinion from fact, or logic from wishful thinking, and you all vote. Some of you teach children (but not mine!). I sincerely hope that only a tiny number of you manages to equate breastmilk with pee.
Oh, she also came back with the stellar logical zinger that perhaps instead I'd let my baby eat someone's spit.
I'm going to go back into my own world now, where people are not so bizarrely sick and weird. Or at least, they're bizarre in ways I can cope with.
Posted by lynx at October 12, 2007 10:51 AM
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Comments
Nuts! Some folks are so out of it they just don't realize how out of it they are! I am glad you dropped it instead of banging your head on a brink keyboard.
Posted by: Kamrin at October 12, 2007 11:32 AM
The biggest problem that I can see is that the world is full of you, you folks that cannot tell opinion from fact, or logic from wishful thinking, and you all vote.
Yes, and the politicians know it. Logic doesn't win political arguments anymore - it's all about who can motivate emotions the best.
Posted by: Mark L
at October 12, 2007 11:48 AM
Oh, man. I don't think I would have been able to remain as civil as you did.
On days like these I positively despair of our culture.
Posted by: Drew at October 12, 2007 12:32 PM
Idiot, indeed. Good grief. People like that make me want to bang their heads against a wall (I decided that logically, there's no sense in banging MY head against the wall when I'm the one thinking clearly).
Gah. I also often forget how insular my internet world is. I'm often shocked and appalled by some of the things I hear in the "real" world. And like Drew, it often makes me despair of our culture.
Posted by: KathyJo at October 12, 2007 1:20 PM
Oh MY! I couldn't have done....kudos to you!
Posted by: Pensguys at October 12, 2007 1:33 PM
A comprehensive list of reasons why I, a lower-case 'l' libertarian and lower-case 'r' republican, have become an elitist over time:
1. Exposure to people.
The thing is, though, that it is really, really difficult to winnow out the sane from the insane, so as to get a sane elite. Plato recognized this, which is why he suggested lying to the people he wanted to be the elite. There are better ways, but they're kind of out of scope for the comments.
The point is, I used to think that the wisdom of the masses worked because the masses were wiser than the rulers. Lately I have come to understand that the wisdom of the masses works because we are all insane in different directions, so we average out to moderately sane. Communities not widely exposed to their actions having consequences — academics, unionists (particularly government bureaucrats and educators), journalists, etc — tend to all go crazy in the same direction, which is why they're insane.
Posted by: Jeff Medcalf at October 12, 2007 2:01 PM
I just got off the phone with MrV, discussing our upcoming trip to visit relatives.
The entire weekend will be a cavalcade of discussions like the one you've described...not necessarily about breastfeeding, but with that level of "logic". Sigh.
Posted by: GailV at October 12, 2007 3:23 PM
As the milk donor, I am offended that my milk would be compared to urine. I fed it to all four of my children and the child above. And I must say, he is quite dear to me. :)
This woman's "logic" is so far from logic that I worry about her children. Please tell me that they are public schooled.
Posted by: susie at October 12, 2007 3:57 PM
What a moron! It surprises me that some people can function with such imense stupidity!
Posted by: tiffany at October 12, 2007 4:58 PM
Steph, you planted a few seeds out there. I'm sure that someone who didn't join the conversation will remember what you said about giving your baby another human's breastmilk (instead of cow's milk) and will do the same for their own someday when they need to or maybe they'll consider donating their own milk to a breastmilk bank.
That woman was crazy. Urine? Spit? How strange. You can't grow a person by nourishing them with spit and urine.
Posted by: Tammy at October 12, 2007 6:34 PM
These people would be funny if it wasn't a scary fact that there are so many of them out there. FWIW, my best friend would babysit my second boy because she could breastfeed him - I was too lazy to pump *evil grin*
Posted by: Frally at October 12, 2007 10:47 PM
My sister and I both had babies this year. She had hers in March and I had mine in August. I wasn't able to breastfeed my first 9 years ago and pumping made me cry, though I did it for the first few months. My sister built up a freezer supply for me just in case. It was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for me. Thankfully, this one knew exactly what she wanted as soon as she was born.
Austin has a milk bank. I believe it's something like $2 or $2.50 an ounce, but it's logical to say that urine wouldn't be so expensive because it's common. Unless your buying it for something else;P
Posted by: Shawna at October 13, 2007 3:14 AM
Wow! I guess the little homeschooling blog world that I frequent is mostly filled with sensible people.
Logic? The woman you had to deal with did not even get to sensible. Ugh!
I once nursed someone else's baby for a little while. The kiddo was allergic to cow's milk and had trouble with soy formula. I thought I was giving her a chance at life!
I suppose these days one would need to be careful about the health of the woman who is helping and that milk banks must do something about that, too. But to compare human milk to urine or spit? What a strange turn of thought. I wonder if the person who did so isn't slightly...batty? (I'm being nice here--psychotic is probably the word I want).
By the way, did you ask her if she eats honey? That's the regurgitated contents of a bee's digestive tract. Will she feed her children bee vomit?
Too crazy. I think I'll stay away from some of those sites.
Posted by: Elisheva Levin at October 13, 2007 12:24 PM
Wow, what a freak...a scary, illogical freak.
::sigh::
We are sadly outnumbered.
Posted by: Lynne at October 13, 2007 9:52 PM
Um... some people (heck, most people!) are nuts. My daughter was accidentally given another woman's breastmilk by mistake by a caregiver, and that really kinda ooked me out -- I mean, it's one thing if you do it on purpose and you know who it is ahead of time, but to just find out that some random persons breastmilk ended up in your baby? Totally weird and kinda freaky.
(The worst part actually, and what I was dreading, is that my kids both have been completely incapable of tolerating onions -- so I basically have to cook everything from scratch. One bit of onion in ME and they're up all night screaming with gas. SO, yeah, apparently the other mom LOVES onions. She must eat onion soup all day. Worst. Night. Ever. :P)
Posted by: silvermine at October 13, 2007 10:05 PM
Susie wrote:
"This woman's "logic" is so far from logic that I worry about her children. Please tell me that they are public schooled."
I can't believe you said this. Yes, that woman is a moron, but you're talking about public school in the exact way you would hate someone to talk about homeschooling. Not fair at all.
Posted by: Jennifer S. at October 14, 2007 3:03 PM
I'm going to go out on a limb here, and say how I interpreted Susie's words.
What if a public school teacher had this little grasp of logic, or sanity? She would affect far more students than a homeschooling parent; however, many saner, more logical teachers would also have an effect. The damage could be mitigated.
But the truth is, and yes, I'm saying it, that if you homeschool, and you're a complete idiot, well ... the effect is not mitigated in your children. Can you imagine her children, if she homeschooled? I'm with Susie - I really hope she doesn't. It really is more of a slam on her, than on public school teachers, some of whom are fantastic, and some of whom are idiots, just like everyone else.
Posted by: Stephanie at October 14, 2007 9:53 PM
Ok, I guess I see that point. Better she NOT have them at home and poison their minds with her moronity. Moronitude. Moronosity.
I did completely misunderstand, I'm sorry. :-)
Posted by: Jennifer S. at October 15, 2007 9:52 PM