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October 1, 2006
Weird People/Embarrassing Kids
Another strange thing about Michigan: People say things to my kids when we're in the store. Things that my kids just do not get.
Today Lachlan was sulking in the cereal aisle, as the permitted-cereal negotiations were not going as he had hoped. A man walking in the same aisle stopped to stoop near Lachlan's ear, and told him: "Hey, I just saw Santa Claus over on the next aisle!"
It took me several seconds to understand what he meant. We do have Santa visit us at Christmas, but do not use him as a bribe for good behavior. Lachlan just assumed the man was insane and resumed his pout.
But soon, a cereal was agreed upon, and the rest of the family joined us in that fateful aisle. All of the children simultaneously opened negotiations for cookies, but I was feeling unilateral and smacked that idea down.
"Please can we have cookies?" begged Griffin.
"No."
I swear that as I said "no," talked ceased in the aisle. I'm quite certain they all paused for a moment of silence so that they could hear my child's next words clearly. Would he yell? Would he throw a fit? Would he say "That's okay, Mom, I'm sure you have excellent reasons for not allowing us to load up on sugar right now?"
Not my kid. No, my kid, my new six-year-old giggled at me, and then, as the store held its breath, yelled out: "Awww, you bastard!"
I may never be able to shop there again. What do you think Santa thought of that?
Posted by lynx at October 1, 2006 9:38 PM
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Comments
Thanks for making laugh. I so needed that.
Posted by: Jewels at October 1, 2006 10:19 PM
I am trying very hard not to wake the children with my laughter, Steph, but this was hilarious. Particularly since it wasn't me. But I'm going to be very cautious about taking the children out today, just in case.
Dy
Posted by: Dy at October 2, 2006 7:58 AM
!!!! Thanks for making me spew juice on my computer. THAT, is hysterical. I can just feel that pause, and your pain!
Posted by: angie at October 2, 2006 8:22 AM
I think Santa just hit the floor laughing his head off! My personal opinion is that Santa has a wicked sense of humor.... ;)
Posted by: Anne at October 2, 2006 8:35 AM
LMAO Oh, my goodness, that is hilarious. I'm glad I didn't wait to check your blog 'til Eli went to sleep tonight. :)
We've had a number of those moments, but Ernie's gotten most of them when he's taken Jared with him to do errands. I think the best was when Jared was 4 and they went to the video store. Ernie told Jared he could choose a children's movie. Jared grabbed a movie and Ernie told him, "No, that's a grown up movie." Jared asked, loud and clear, "Why? Does it have naked people in it?"
Posted by: KathyJo at October 2, 2006 2:30 PM
I'm betting Santa is still laughing his ass off! And, what's up with weird people in grocery stores? We seem to attract them too.
Posted by: Amy @ thefoilhat.com at October 2, 2006 9:53 PM
Oh. my. word. I was forced to cover my mouth with the laundry I'm not folding yet to keep from waking the baby.
We had no stories like this with the first three. Our about to be three year old, though...he gives us plenty of material. ONE slip up in front of this kid lasts a long, long time. And I'm not sure whether to be proud or scared (both, I think) of his ability to take the word and use it in conversation. So far we've been treated to "Oh, dis is bullsh*t!" and he's even asked "is dat bullsh*t, Mommy?"
Yikes.
Posted by: Andie at October 4, 2006 2:01 PM