July 17, 2006
The kids have been begging for a "Summer Break." Okay, fine. We're on Summer Break. So today they scattered off to play games with each other.
Leaving me to do ...
Hmm. Well, let's see. Still haven't really made friends here yet, so no friends to see. And one in particular isn't answering her phone. Ahem.
This isn't my house, so there's no "improving" to do. And no garden. I finished my book, and have not yet chosen another. Nothing calls. It was too hot to go anywhere fun. So ... oh, boy. That left the joy of housework. Yeah, great day this was.
Days like this are wonderful when you have a purpose with which to fill them. Sometimes, if you're not careful, you get caught without one. Then the day stinks, as you wander aimlessly through the house pushing at dust bunnies. Even housework can be a purpose, when your mind is there, in that place. Needless to say, mine was not.
I work hard to avoid this. I hate aimless. I hate marking time.
I could have blogged one of the more time-consuming blogs I've been saving up. I started to, several times, got too angry and gave up. I'm incubating what is promising to be a wildly unpopular opinion on marriage and the mommy wars. Getting angry and giving up, though, wastes a great deal of time.
We are so not doing this again. Tonight I bought my first Costco membership, and used it to buy amazing quantities of salt and baking soda. Tomorrow I will buy the sacrificial chicken to mummify. Then I'm going to Michael's, where I will buy - noooo, I take it back! There's a Dick Blick in Dearborn. Fine, I will go to Dick Blick and buy all the art supplies my checkbook can stand. If the big boys want to run off and play their games all day, the little boys and I will do art.
But still, I am at loose, aimless ends. I need friends, or a house/garden to work on, or school to direct, or a city full of museums to explore. My kids will revolt if I take them to pick any more berries.
Who would think that sometimes the Summer Break is hardest on the Mom? Mom needs to find a life.
Posted by lynx at July 17, 2006 10:50 PM
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But still, I am at loose, aimless ends. I need friends, or a house/garden to work on, or school to direct, or a city full of museums to explore... Who would think that sometimes the Summer Break is hardest on the Mom? Mom needs to find a life.
No, Mom needs to realize that it is really hard to go from full throttle to idle....I know, I deal with some of the same things every time we move and also when we stop school. I find myself becoming lazy, and then I wonder why I feel so discontented. So no real advice, just a btdt.
Posted by: Anne at July 18, 2006 9:30 AM
I know. But it's also going from full throttle to a dead stop, and then realizing that your avenues for getting started again are no longer there.
The "Mom needs a life" thing is more of a device than what I mean. I have the life I want. I just hate this kind of glitch. I have no patience with it, and would like it to go away. NOW.
Posted by: MamaLynx at July 18, 2006 9:45 AM
I'm the same way. Every 2 to 3 years I get to move and redo all my local support systems...it really is hard. And frustrating. And non activity can get really boring. You'd think my house would be spotless, but after awhile the motivation dries up....although a glass of wine every now and then seems to help! So, in a year, when I'm in Italy starting from scratch, could you remind me of all this? Thanks.
Posted by: Anne at July 18, 2006 3:57 PM
Hey!! A Costco membership!!! Now THAT is KEWL!! Isn't that place Da Bomb?
Here's a dreamy afternoon: you go to Costco for lunch, where you spend the $7 on a whole, huge pizza and the $1 on a coke and you eat your little hearts out and there's still some left over!! Costco rules the world!
And it's not as hot there as it would have been if you'd been in your old house in Texas, right??
Posted by: Jo's Boys at July 18, 2006 4:23 PM
But sometimes, just sometimes, it's good to be stuck with this momentary doing nothing - because it allows us to think. The being busy, and yes, having purpose, is all fine but I'd take this day, with all grumpiness & aimlessness as a gift. At the very least, you've learned (perhaps yet again) that you need a project, a plan, some goals, which are separate from your children. That's a good thing to know & perhaps in the grumpy stillness, you'll figure out what you need to do.
Patience grasshopper :-) It is uncomfortable to sit with these feelings and that's why we want them to be over & back to 'life' again. But there's something there to learn, in that momentary discomfort.
Posted by: hornblower at July 18, 2006 9:56 PM
Italy, Anne? Wow. But at least you'll be able to go outside and be in Italy. I had very little of this aimlessness in Chicago; we were always willing to leave the little apartment, and there was always somewhere fantastic to go.
But I'll remind you anyway ... we'll be in the same boat. I'm betting we're not here more than a year, after all ... two at the most.
Hornblower, there you go making sense, reminding me that it's all a learning experience. (Do you hear the whiny voice?)
Posted by: MamaLynx at July 18, 2006 10:43 PM
Patience grasshopper :-) said Hornblower...
And all I could think of was "Wax on, Wax off"
Posted by: Anne at July 19, 2006 9:52 AM
I can't find the link at the moment, but there's that lawyer/philosopher who says that women who don't choose to work and violating the moral spirit of the women's rights movement.
So go get a job and leave your children to the State to take care of. It's your moral obligation as a woman.
Posted by: queuno at July 21, 2006 11:09 AM
Oh, that's right, how silly of me.
You want I should tell you what I think of that lawyer? ;-)
Posted by: MamaLynx at July 21, 2006 12:55 PM