One-Sixteenth

Great post! Now here's the question-what about playdates? I feel like I am contstantly searching for the schedule that is balanced- enough school time, enough just playing and be creative with the kids time, enough letting the kids do their own thing while I get some time to myself, and enough time of the kids seeing their friends. For me it's the afternoon playdates where the mom's stay to visit, or where we are all out somewhere that just send me over the edge. Don't get me wrong- I like the mom's, they are my friends- but I find I am so much happier if three days a week we don't see anyone else. How do you handle the "social" thing?

Carrie

Thanks for these thoughts. The "plight" of the introverted homeschool mom is a much underaddressed topic! I, too cope by getting up earlier, staying up later, letting dh do the night-time-tuck-in-thing, reading, spending too much time on the computer, and my personal favorite: room time (or backyard, or anywhere really, where *I'm* not) in the afternoon. :-)
-Susan (in SoCal)

Lynx,
I am so glad that you posted this. This is me to a T....I always just figured that I had some weird character flaw. Thanks for clarifying :)
Blessings,
Carie

Thanks, Steph, I needed this. This week my 2 older girls are at Girl Scout Day Camp and rather than the introverted low-key refuel that a homeschool mom of 3 with a husband in Iraq should have, I decided to make this home daycamp week for Aine. I'm pooped. I need to take some time for me. I've been getting up earlier and earlier and find the outcome is my kids are getting up earlier and earlier. Sigh. They are hitting bed pretty reliably but by then I'm too tired for much refueling.

I'm not an introvert. But I can absolutely relate to this as a homeschooling mom of two. I think for me it's just needing to have "grown up" thoughts and things instead of just my kids 24/7. I had been feeling guilty lately about helping them prepare lunch then abandoning them for the computer or reading. But I'm not going to now. I don't have to be there for everything.

Thank God it's not just me. OK, I knew it wasn't, but it still helps to know that this is one way in which I'm not suffering from terminal uniqueness. ;)

I'm not an introvert, nor a homeschooling mom BUT I feel this intensely in the summer. I use my hours away from them to do my volunteer work during the school year and each summer we need to find new balance. During the school year when they are home my time is their time, they don't get that that just because they are here 24/7 I cannot drop everything and be Supermom that whole time. My mantra is a deep breath and then a loud, firm, "go. out. side." and of course I stay up too late at night, drinking beer and commenting on blogs ;-)

e, okay, I'll admit I deliberately left "drinking" off my list of coping mechanisms. But you know better. I imagine that the switch from having the kids gone all day to having them home all the time would drive me nuts.

Carrie,

I am much happier, and my kids seem to be too, if we *home* a good three days a week. Last year we had Scouts one evening a week, PE one afternoon a week, and co-op one day a week; the kids complained about how busy we were. So yes, we're all happier if we limit activities, especially scheduled, weekly ones.

Playdates are harder. On top of being an introvert I am shy, and I really have to gear myself up for sitting with moms I don't know while the kids play. The more I get to know the moms the less of a problem it is. But playdates where I don't have any of *my* friends present are stressful and I will often have to make myself go. I try to make sure we can only be there for a defined amount of time, so that if I've had enough we have an out.

You mean I'm not the only one?!

The biggest stress wasn't going from work (where I would cope by taking long walks at lunchtime) to home with the kids, but going from unmarried life in the big city to married life in the country where I am either related by marriage or just "known" to most of the town. Gah.

The biggest help has been living in the country because I don't have too many visitors, especially the pesky drop in kind, and barring bears and cougars in the backyard, I just throw the kids out of the house. And I throw them *far*.

Thanks for the reminder of the importance of effective coping strategies, Stephanie. I could make better use of #1 and #7 on your list, but especially #1. Although I know it is always a better day if I am awake in the morning for a little quiet time before the kids, I tend to stay up late at night instead, which of course, makes for a tired and grumpy mama when the kids naturally wake up early.
My oldest is an extrovert like her father and an incessant talker. Coping mechanism #5 is a life-saver for me at the end of the day! Around here, we call it "Mama-Time," and they all know I need it.

I'm a little late on this, but just discovered your blog. Ohhh, this is sooo me, too. I remember a professor in college explaining introvert and extrovert to me. I think i can be a little of both, but I still NEEEED to be alone some everyday. And I need to be alone or unwind after being in a crowd for very long, it drains me. (I'm also shy.) I'm the same away about zoning out on the computer, too. And about researching the homeschool stuff. LOL I had to smile when you said that. It is my ultimate excuse. :) I think that is why I don't have my own blog in this blog-crazed new world of ours. LOL I would drive myself mad trying to keep up with it and post interesting things. Anyhoo, thanks for (as someone else said) making one more thing that's not uniquely wierd about myself. LOL

Whew! It's not just me. I have done all these things to cope, including wine at dinner even when the main dish doesn't really call for it. But my kids are not introverts at all (the oldest being only 8.5, it would be weird if they already were) and would play with the closest available non-sibling kid every minute of every day. So for me, playdates are good, because normally they don't involve other adults I hardly, or don't want to, know.

I had a couple of things to say, but my four year old continues to interrupt me and I can't remember what I was going to type when I return to the computer. I'm shy, introverted and I check out alot. I spend way more time looking over homeschool catalogs and parenting books than the average sane person does and hadn't put it together until now that it's one way I can justify checking out. I live in the country, where every playdate means prior plannning and at least a 30 min round trip drive. I have a 14, 10 and 4 yr old and am pulled in every direction.....from local bars where the 14 yr old sits in on the drums with a couple of bands to trying to fit in with first time mama's who are still trying to be the perfect parent (LOL like that exists!!)I am a loner...I enjoy socializing when it's just me and I can go with the flow....but with three kids in tow....there is no flowing. Don't get me wrong..I live for these three beautiful beings, but on some level I know that it makes me a little certifiable. That beer in the evening idea sounds like a good one.