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June 27, 2006
Let's Homeschool - But Leave Me Alone!
Let's talk about introverts.
Introverts are people who recharge, who get energized, by solitude. (Deep down, we all got very excited over the whole "Fortress of Solitude" bit in "Superman." Nice quiet place, up in the Arctic? that would be fine, thanks.) Extroverts are energized by interacting with people. It's not that introverts don't like to be around people, it's just that after a few hours of it we need to be alone. We need a break. If we can't actually get a break, we need to zone out.
I never understood this when I had an outside the home job. All I knew was that I spent the first week of each new job figuring out my escape routes: Where could I hide? How could I get sent on errands out of the office? Just how long could I stay in the bathroom without attracting attention? Ironically, every job I had involved sitting in a big, open room, without even a cubicle to protect me. To say I found work stressful is a staggering understatement.
And so now I find myself surrounded by children, all day. All night. All the time. Not only that, but I don't even send them off to school. Can you imagine how relaxed and efficient I'd be if I sent them away for several hours each day? I can. Of course, I can also imagine how bored and sad I'd be, and how much fun I'd miss. And so they stay.
But it is hard. We do our lessons in the morning, and by lunchtime I am drained. I need an out. I need quiet. I need to Go. Away. And of course, by lunchtime all my work is not done, and all the children's needs are not met. If I am not paying attention and don't have good coping mechanisms in place the day will end in one of two ways: 1) I will lose my temper and yell at everyone, or 2) I will zone out on the computer, lose track of time, and waste the rest of the day.
I've talked to several homeschooling moms who end up doing one or the other, and then feel like bad homeschooling moms for not being able to keep it together. Don't beat yourselves up. The need of an introvert to get that break is both powerful and sneaky. And you do need it. You cannot talk yourself out of it. A better schedule is not the answer (unless it includes more breaks for you). Your temper and organizational skills are not the true culprit. You need to spend time away, or focused on things rather than people.
I am convinced this is why so many of us spend so much time researching curricula or planning. It's work we can justify, and it's so much easier to face homeschooling in the abstract form of ideas and things, than to go interact with the kids on that level again.
You must recognize your need to recharge in quiet, and honor it. Some families schedule family quiet time. That doesn't work well for us. (Do you hear the hysterical laughter in the background?) I cope by:
1) Getting up earlier than the kids. This is essential.
2) Having the kids fix lunch after lessons, so that I can zone out on the computer while they eat; then they play while I have my lunch with a book.
3) Not planning much school in the afternoons, and being very flexible with what I do plan. All important things happen in the morning. I might do science or read books in the afternoon, but I don't push it.
4) Streamlining my curricula/educational plan. I have decided what is essential. I make sure we do that, and then I don't stress about the rest. Okay, I try hard not to stress about the rest.
5) Having my husband handle bedtime reading and routines.
6) Keeping books in the bathroom and near the dining table. Seriously. Focusing on a book, even for a few minutes, can help. And for me, a book at lunchtime is essential. My mother used to turn into a raving lunatic if she could not eat lunch alone. Now I know why.
I'm still working on #7: Computer self-discipline, or "How to Use the Computer as a Recharging Tool Without Letting it Take Over Your Life."
You could also delegate some subjects to workbooks or books on tape, and send the little darlings to do that work during your more sensitive points of the day. I seem to choose large amounts of teacher-intensive curricula and so don't have that option. But if it works for you, use the tools intentionally to give you the down time you need, so that you can provide quality teaching for the other subjects.
Goodnight, now, and don't talk to me any more.
Posted by lynx at 9:55 PM | Comments (13) | TrackBack
June 23, 2006
Not Surprised
A long, long time ago I cancelled an AOL account. The experience was harrowing and difficult, and left a scar on my soul.
Some years later I signed up again. I don't remember why ... I was probably desperate for access out on some contract where we didn't have DSL available. Whatever the reason, the time soon came when the account was no longer needed, or wanted. But the scars on my soul had not healed, and I found that I did not have the strength or fortitude to stand battle again.
If you've never called AOL's customer service, it works like this. Poor man. Can you see why I chickened out? This time I took the sneaky, but effective, way of changing banks. When AOL sent me a letter asking for money, I scrawled "CANCEL MY ACCOUNT" all over it and mailed it back. Even then, it took six months. That's six months of them sending me letters letting me know that there seemed to be a problem with my payment, and certainly I'd want to rectify the problem as soon as possible to prevent cancellation of said account. Six months of me replying, in writing: "YES! PLEASE CANCEL ACCOUNT! I'M NOT SENDING YOU ANY MORE MONEY!" Six months of them asking for money AND NOT GETTING ANY, for them to actually cancel the account.
I don't know where they train their customer service reps, but I'm certain there's a special level of Hell just for them.
Posted by lynx at 10:39 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
June 21, 2006
The Death of Energetic Fun Educator Mom
When Connor "started school" I was both excited and creative. I taught him most of his math through games. I created opportunities throughout the day to help him learn to read. Whatever his interests were, I used those as excuses, opportunities, for learning. Creative Energetic Fun Educator Mom was on the job! The best part about homeschooling was how much you could learn just by playing games. And we played!
Fast forward five short years. Connor and Aidan have both become obsessed with interested in a game called Star Fleet Battles. They map out their campaigns, and create strange little graphics called SSDs. Jeff mentioned that this would be a great game to use to teach they boys decimals, percentages, and statistics.
I blinked. And told him no.
No. Nope. I can't do it. Not any more. Five years later, I have three levels of "school" to keep track of. I have four kids, two houses, two cats, and a bird. Energetic Fun Educator Mom just doesn't have that much energy. They can play the game. They can do the math in the game. I think it's wonderful that they love a game that requires math, and that will inspire them to learn to use math they have not yet encountered in formal instruction. I am all for that. And they still have to do the math in their books, because that's all I have the time and energy to keep track of.
This is, in a nutshell, why we don't unschool. (Well, one reason of several.) It's actually easier for me to manage classical education than the intense engagement and creativity of unschooling or child-led learning. No, that Mom is gone. I only mourn her a tiny bit. After all, they don't need me in all their games, making sure they're learning. They'll do that without me. I'll teach them what I teach, they'll play what they play; and, as a bonus, I don't have to memorize how many disruptors are attached to the dilithium crystals in ships from the Triangulum Galaxy.
Posted by lynx at 8:09 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack
June 20, 2006
20 Pounds of Strawberries
That's a lot of berries.
Unfortunately, many of them met with an accident on the way home, resulting in mashed berries and an interesting addition to the color scheme of my car.
Still, there's a pie in the fridge, berries waiting to be turned into freezer jam, and plenty to eat. I'd like to go back this weekend and get more. And cherries. And sweet peas. And beef from the local farmer, and fresh milk from the local dairy - oh, joy!
The two younger children hate going to pick things. On the other hand, I think the older boys made a new friend. One who knows how to explode many various things. What more could a boy want?
Posted by lynx at 11:39 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
June 19, 2006
It's a Brain Thing
I know. I haven't been blogging. It's one of those situations where the time to blog is inversely correlated with the ability of my brain to make any kind of sense. It happens.
I promised my husband a post on whether or not we actually have that Greco-Roman heritage we claim to have. It'll happen.
I promised many of you a post on homeschooling and being an introvert. I'd have written that by now, but I'm too busy running away and checking out when we're finished with school.
I wish to write a gloriously positive review of Classical Writing, because the more I learn about this program the more I think it's the greatest thing since sliced bread, and the cure to all educational ills. *I* want to learn to write with this program. I have learned more about writing by reading their message boards and emailing Lene than I ever did in college. And did I mention that I have a degree?
Then there's the struggle I'm having between school and summer. We're doing school, because we took off half the spring. But the weather here is so nice ... Eh. We did a full day today. (Math, Latin, handwriting, piano AND Classical Writing were all done by 11:30 am! We rock! And in the afternoon, we read Greek myths, Roman history and a version of Macbeth. We rock more!) Tomorrow I'm thinking we'll go berry picking.
I bought a new chair for my office. It's the adjustable type. My four-year-old just made it go all the way down, and now I am typing at you from way down below my desk. He giggled. A lot. Anything to make the kid giggle.
And with that, it's midnight, and the early bird gets the best strawberries. Sleep well!
Posted by lynx at 10:37 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
Man, college has changed ...
iPods more popular than beer among college students.
Posted by lynx at 10:35 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
June 17, 2006
Tally an Ace!
Jeff is in love.
Posted by lynx at 8:13 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
June 16, 2006
The Bird Who Lived
Yes, we got another bird. We actually brought it home a scant 24 hours after the first one died. I was afraid to mention it earlier, though, in case, you know, it died too.
It has survived nearly a month. Jeff wanted to name it Canary Potter, the Bird Who Lived. But Connor chose Dread Pirate Birdie. (My son, though gifted in many areas, has never been one for creative naming. For evidence I offer you his stuffed raccoon, which he named "Raccoony.")
We just call him Birdie. It seems to fit him more than "Pirate."
We even took the bird to the vet, which is ... well, look, we don't even take the cats to the vet. We took the bird to the bird vet. We brought the bird vet little samples of bird poop, to see if it looked good. The bird seems fine, and we are not, apparently, serial bird killers. Yet.
They never tell you, when you become a parent, just how much of the rest of your life will revolve around poop. Kid poop, cat poop, bird poop. Everyone poops, indeed.
Posted by lynx at 9:37 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack
Ironically
Here's a tidbit I forgot to mention regarding the whole I-Am-Barney thing, below.
We have traced my family ancestry back to the 1500s in England. It turns out we come from a little English town called Beer.
So there you go.
Posted by lynx at 9:33 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
June 10, 2006
Not Exactly
Hey, did you know that you can't get onto 280 in Toledo from I-75? That the ramp is closed?
Neither did I.
We were very late for the ferry. We had been shooting for the 9 am ferry. I think we made the 11 am. At any rate, we made a ferry. It was the kind you drive your car onto, and the kids were impressed. Aidan said, "Now we can get seasick and carsick at the same time!" He's a pretty ambitious one himself.
The ferry took us to Kelleys Island out in lake Erie. It's a very pretty little island, with a nice beach that isn't overrun with people. The trip was even educational, as they have a nice sample of glacial grooves to view. The picture on the website does not do it justice. The grooves are impressive, and the landscape around them (an abandoned quarry) is gorgeous.
The schoolhouse there hosts 28 students in grades K-12. A sign outside the school showed the name of one student, and then "Congratulations Class of 2006." I would think that if you are the only student in your graduating class, and if there cannot be more than two or three students in any class, that you'd face some sort of the same socialization "issues" that homeschoolers supposedly do. What's the difference there, beyond walking out of your house and into your classroom for one? At any rate, it must be hard to get a nice social clique going. And what about dating?
At any rate, we left the beach at 3:00 to catch the 3:30 ferry. So far so good. But guess what? You can get onto 280 coming from the east ... as long as you follow the detour that takes you through the heart of downtown Toledo at the beginnings of rush hour.
Google said the trip would take us a little over two hours. Three and a half. Three and a half. So we missed the picnic entirely, and we should have just taken an extra hour on the beach.
Oh, well.
My kids are good travelers, and we had a great time, even if too much of it was spent in the car.
Posted by lynx at 7:14 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
June 9, 2006
Plan for the Day
1. Get up at the *#$&-crack of dawn. Check.
2. Leave the house by 7 am. Mmm, almost.
3. Drive two hours to Ohio.
4. Get on a ferry to an island.
5. Play on the island.
6. Get back on ferry to mainland.
7. Drive two hours back home.
8. Present children, in (clean) uniforms, at the Cub Scout picnic at 6 p.m.
You can't say I'm not ambitious.
Posted by lynx at 5:54 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
June 8, 2006
Does this mean I should drink more?
| You Are Barney |
 Instead, your whole life is an homage to beer You will be remembered for: your beautiful singing voice and your burps Your life philosophy: "There's nothing like beer to give you that inflated sense of self-esteem." |
How to reconcile the pursuit of a classical education with a Barney personality. Report coming (hic!) (haec!) (hoc!) soon.
If they had let us choose more than one answer, I could have tied Barney with Mr. Burns. Alcohol and power.
Posted by lynx at 1:21 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
Mostly Cloudy, But Clearing
Thanks, everyone. It's nice to know y'all are out there.
Today I can shake things off better, shake my head, and move on. I want to emphasize that getting upset over the curriculum spat was an offshoot of already being in a dark mood.
I dreamed that we woke up to find a huge crack in the wall, running the length of the upstairs bedroom. Anyone want to analyze that one?
Anyway.
We've been weirdly productive the last couple of days. We're doing full-on school days. Of course, we still don't really know anyone here ... it's amazing how much school you can get done when you're not also juggling playdates. On the other hand, it's less fun.
Connor and Aidan have been sucked into the miniatures store at one of the local malls. I started to wonder, if they're homeschooled and they play with miniatures, will they end up hopelessly socially inept? But I shouldn't worry. The answer is, of course, a resounding "yes!" I suppose I always knew it would end this way. The real question is, will they let me paint my own?
Posted by lynx at 7:17 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
June 6, 2006
Black Mood
Oh, I am in a black, black mood.
There are good, big reasons for the mood. We're not talking about those here. But there are plenty of little reasons too, like the fact that I hate people.
Here's a good example of a small reason. Not long ago Daryl posted a link entitled Women + Homeschooling = Lunacy. Daryl, I completely agree. Witness how many women get so emotionally invested in their curriculum choices that they can't just say "that program is just not for me." Instead, they have to insult our educational goals, engage in passive-aggressive snarkiness, and finish off with a pronouncement on the general state of our souls for using the curriculum that they have chosen to not use. Why isn't "No, I don't like that one, it doesn't meet my goals" enough?
Plus, I bought two boxes of the utterly wrong kinds of file folders for the timeline I want to make. And I went to the library, but didn't get any books for me.
Gah.
I need a strong drink and a peer group. The trouble is that the strong drink is easy. The peer group is nowhere to be seen. Oh, peer group! Where are you? (Yeah, I know. You're in Texas. And Iowa. And Maryland. And many, many other states that aren't spelled "Michigan.") Fine.
What's your favorite thing to watch when you're in a real people-hating mood? I'd go for Firefly, but it's not an option tonight.
Posted by lynx at 9:44 PM | Comments (9) | TrackBack
Note to Homeschoolers
Curriculum is a tool.
Come on, say it with me. Curriculum is a tool. Repeat. Say it over and over and over, until you get it.
Your job, as a homeschooling parent, is to make the educational decisions for your children. Your job is to teach. Your job is to know your children, and yourself, and act accordingly. The curriculum is the tool you use to get the job done.
The curriculum is not magic. We all like to think it is, I know. It's not.
Your children will not suffer if you change it, delete whole parts of it, or combine it with something else. In fact, they will probably be better off, as the curriculum author did not have your family in mind when designing the program. You don't need permission to do any of this. You don't need to base your decisions on what others have done. Advice and experience are good things to seek out; permission is not.
It is your tool. You use it as you see fit. Use it as it's written. Use half of it. Use it as a doorstop on windy days. Change all the religious references. Insert religious references. Stop every other sentence to say "Okay, the author says this, but I think ..." And if doing that too often drives you nuts, change your curriculum to one that will make you less crazy.
Are you frantically trying to catch up, and finish the work in the time allotted? Go into your book and change the dates. Delete things you feel are less worthy of your study time. Do what's important, then enjoy yourself.
You don't even have to use a curriculum. Any curriculum.
No program will be perfect. None will do everything you want. Zip. Zero. Nada. You will have to make it do what you want it to do. You are the key there.
And by the way ... it's also a mistake to assume that you are, or will be, bounded by your curriculum. The choice to use a certain program or plan does not mean that your very life and soul will be defined by its pages. You can, and people do, read outside the curriculum. You can travel. You can discuss things with each other. You can, in short, have quite the education outside of your curriculum. In fact, that's the way it's supposed to work. There's your tool, which you use for certain things, and then there is reading and personal study and life and experience. You like "The Well-Trained Mind's" four-year history cycle, but you're deeply concerned about your children not doing any American history before the third year? Do American history, as much as you want, whenever you please. You're considering "The Latin-Centered Curriculum" but fear its focus is so exclusively western that your kids will not learn about other cultures? Teach them!
It's that simple. Honest. Don't expect the curriculum writers to do it for you. Do it yourself. Expect to do it yourself. It's easier than you think.
Posted by lynx at 7:16 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
June 4, 2006
A Wise Child Knows His Mother
My five-year-old just came into my office and laid a bag of Ghirardelli milk chocolate chips on my desk.
"Just in case," he said, and ran off to play.
Good boy.
Posted by lynx at 9:05 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
June 3, 2006
Um, no ...
You are a solid Republican. You are not as fiercely ideological or uncompromising as others in the party, but nonetheless remain a reliable supporter. If you could have your way, you'd like to see Republican leaders take a slightly more pragmatic approach on certain issues - and dial down some of their nakedly partisan and bitterly divisive rhetoric.
Yeah. Not. It was a fun quiz anyway. All I can figure is that my sense of humor is too good. At least half of the cartoons, slanted both ways, I marked as "offensive/just plain dumb" because they were just plain dumb. They weren't funny. They were stupid.
Posted by lynx at 11:36 PM | Comments (7) | TrackBack
Well, that figures.
Last week I spent several hours re-doing my sidebar. You know what happened next, don't you? My husband hosed the server.
And I see now that all my lovely changes are gone.
Fine. Be that way.
Posted by lynx at 9:23 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack