One Sixteenth

Formula

When I was pregnant with my first child, I had the standard access to information about feeding him. My OB, my friends, the television, the parenting magazinges all told me the same thing: breastfeeding is best. It's inconvenient, though, and sometimes it's really hard and it just doesn't work. Formula is just as good, really, so don't worry about using it.

Okay, made sense to me. I really wanted to nurse, and I did. Nursing went very well. I expected to return to work, though, so I made sure to introduce a bottle at an early age. I used formula in the bottle. I had tried to pump once or twice, but it didn't really work. And the formula was right there - the company had sent it to me, all ready to use. It's really just as good, so no big deal. I never went to an LLL meeting, or talked to a lactation consultant about pumping or continuing to nurse. It was too much trouble, and why? I had the formula. No big deal.

When he was about four and a half months old, I wanted to take a trip without him, so I weaned him to the formula bottle for good. He didn't mind. He was already used to the bottle, and my breasts were already producing less milk in compensation. Life was happy.

When I was pregnant with my second, I had access to different information. I had discovered a community of women who were more natural-minded. They told me that formula was not "just as good" and that, in fact, you can harm the whole breastfeeding relationship, and yourself, by plopping formula in those bottles.

I did the research. They were right.

Baby #2 had trouble nursing, though. He had a weak latch. He didn't gain weight. Our pediatrician recommended formula supplementation. Nooooo, no no no! I chose, instead, to work with a lactation consultant, and the support of my friends. In a few weeks, Aidan and I had worked through the problem. He went on to nurse for three and a half years. Hah! I felt that I had beat the system. No horrible formula for my babies. Never again! Evil, evil!

Griffin was born before Aidan was three; Aidan was still nursing. Griffin seemed to have the same initial problems nursing. No sweat, I'd been through this before. We would persevere, and thumb our noses at the evil formula.

But this time, the tricks didn't work. Maybe I was too nonchalant and waited too late. Maybe Aidan's nursing added to the problems Griffin and I were having. Maybe Griffin just wouldn't have nursed, no matter what. The fact of the matter was that Griffin wasn't nursing, and nothing was working.

Many women in this situation can pump, and feed their babies their milk through a dropper, cup, or bottle. For some reason I can't. Some women just don't get much milk when they pump. Believe me, I tried! I used a high-quality, hospital grade pump. I worked with LLL and a lactation consultant. I took herbs, drank tons of water, and ate a good diet. No deal.

So Griffin had formula.

I felt, at first, like a failure. I had failed to feed my baby. Postpartum hormones throw everything out of proportion, anyway. And oh, did I mention that at this same time, my husband was out of the country for his job?

Griffin needed the formula to live, and to thrive. For some reason, even though I was very successful with nursing in the past, and very knowledgable about nursing, it was not working this time. Maybe I did make some mistakes. I look back at this time, sometimes, and think "If only ..." But ultimately, there is no point in doing that. It is not productive. It does not change anything. There are things I would do differently, if I could; there is no guarantee, though, that those changes would have made a difference in the outcome.

We make the best choices we can, and do the best we can with what we have.

Griffin had formula. I pumped for awhile longer, to give him as much breastmilk as possible. But it was only a few ounces a day. He lived on formula. Thank God. Thank Goddess. Thank the people who came up with this stuff, this stuff that let my baby regain his weight and live.

My fourth baby, my Lachlan, had a few issues getting started. Like with Aidan, I was able to correct them quickly, and he's never had a drop of formula. I am proud of that. We will nurse until he's done nursing.

I am sharing this because of a comment I received to my "The Feeding of Babies" post, in which the commenter said she was tired of having her situation "panned and criticized by those more fortunate" than she is. Am I more fortunate than she is? I don't know.

I, too, am thankful for formula. It is a life-saving invention.

On the other hand, the information I got with my first baby is what the vast majority of mothers get. Formula is not marketed as a life-saving invention. It is marketed as a convenience. And that is a disservice, at best, to mothers and babies.

The formula companies have been extraordinarily effective at marketing their product. Hospitals and doctors hand out free samples routinely. Mothers are bombarded with information that tells us that nursing is hard but not to worry; formula is great, it's easy, and it's right here.

This is a snow job of the highest degree.

Formula is a life-saving invention. It saves the lives of babies who cannot nurse, or whose mothers cannot provide them with milk. It is, however, inferior to breast milk. Babies fed on formula are not getting the same quality of nutrition. This is a scientific fact. It is not "just as good." It's like saying "I know providing a nutritious, balanced meal for your family is hard. So here, here's a vitamin-fortified Pop-Tart and some hot dogs." Will they live on the Pop-Tart and hot dogs? Yes. Will they grow? Yes. Are they as well off as if they ate an actually nutritious, balanced meal? No.

Would you feed it to your babies in a heartbeat if there were no nutritious, balanced meal available? You bet. So would I. Would you feel guilty and beat yourself up about it? Maybe. But if the balanced meal is not available, then it's not available. What can you do? You can be thankful for what you have, and glad that it means your child will grow and not starve.

And yet, the formula marketers have been so successful that LLL and others have felt the need to adopt a language of defense. We are defending the merits of breastmilk against formula.

This is backwards.

Breastmilk is best, and mothers need to know that. Mothers need to know that nursing can be hard work. Nursing can be difficult. Really difficult.

And if it doesn't work, formula is there for you.

But it should only be used when nursing doesn't work. Babies need breastmilk. Babies need their mothers. Formula should not be used as a convenience, and mothers should be strongly discouraged from doing so. There is a great cost to doing so: cost to the health of the baby and the health of the mother. Formula should be used as a last resort, and thank God we have it to resort to.

And that's where I stand.

I don't believe that I'm "panning" or "criticizing" anyone for using formula when they need to. Yes, I'm criticizing those who use it for sheer convenience - with the knowledge that I've done that myself. And by the way, I don't feel guilty for that. I feel that I was ill-informed. Had I known better, I would have done differently with Connor, my first. But I didn't. Oh well. Move on. But I do hope to give others the information that I lacked, so that they have the opportunity to make better choices than I did.

So anyway, Stephanie, I applaud you for trying to nurse, and for pumping. That is hard, hard work. You did your very best for your sons, and they are lucky to have you for a mother. I hope that now you have a better view of where I am coming from on this issue. And I hope that you realize that if you did your best for them, there is no point in feeling guilty, or even defensive. Why should it matter to you what I, or any LLL leader, or anyone else, might think because your kids had formula at some point? YOU are their mother. YOU know what you did for them. YOU know if you did what you knew to be best. I'm so glad to know that most mothers you know who use formula are the ones who need it. I have not been so fortunate. The vast majority of ones I know do so for convenience. And it is them that I'm trying to convince.

Posted by Steph at October 2, 2003 11:07 AM